


Two Truths and a Lie

by twosidedcoin



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Protective Siblings, Team Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-12-26 03:25:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18274793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twosidedcoin/pseuds/twosidedcoin
Summary: “I want to go next,” Klaus announced, “Okay. My eyes are brown. I can see dead people, and I once offered sex to a drug lord to get out of his trunk.”Luther’s fist balled the paper into a ball as he snapped, “The point- Klaus- is to make the lie hard to guess.”Allison nudged Luther with her toe as she corrected, “His eyes are green.”





	Two Truths and a Lie

**Author's Note:**

> No words. Nothing. Nope. Nada.

“This is a bad idea.”

Luther frowned, eyebrows furrowing on his forehead in an almost comical expression as he glared at Diego. Diego slumped on the couch, keeping his arms crossed and face dark. Ben smirked at him from his spot beside Klaus, sitting on the other side of the couch’s armrest clicking his heels against the side of the couch.

Klaus’s eyes flickered between his siblings. He didn’t look nearly as annoyed or troubled or insecure as his other siblings did- beaten only by Luther who’d been the one to excitedly call the family meeting. Allison was in the chair across from Diego, Vanya in the chair beside her.

“We need to work on our team building,” Luther protested, “If we’re ever going to get the Umbrella Academy back up and running.”

Diego leaned forward, fiddling with a knife without looking at it. Ben was afraid he’d accidently cut himself, didn’t turn when Five rejoined them with a glass of something green and frozen and he was really too young to be drinking.

“We stopped the apocalypse,” Diego argued, “What more could you want us to do?”

Luther perked up at the question- Diego’s glower deepening as he realized his mistake- as he quickly explained, “I consulted the internet and got some ideas for team building activities.”

He pulled out a folded piece of paper from his coat breast pocket. Vanya eyed it uncertainly and it was clear Five didn’t want to be there. He sipped at his margarita, dark eyes waiting for Diego to put an end to whatever Luther was trying to do.

Diego didn’t.

Probably because he knew Luther was trying and that was more than they’d ever thought they were going to get from Luther. Or maybe it was some morbid curiosity about what Luther had planned. Or maybe because even Diego found it difficult to shoot Luther down when he was looking like that- excited and pleased and ready to get to know them.

Ben smiled at him despite the fact that only Klaus could see him and wasn’t currently paying him any attention. His face was bright in excitement, eyes looking at them all as he waited for either a fight to spontaneously break out or whatever amusing idea Luther had come up with to begin.

Diego did- however- repeat as he sank into the back of the couch, “This is a bad idea.”

“I think we should give him a chance,” Allison protested, more so because she was used to defending Luther and less because she thought whatever was about to happen could be anything except a bad idea.

Luther beamed at her and she gave him a weird grimace back. Ben would have felt bad for the guy if he wasn’t still a little angry he couldn’t have seemed to bother to notice when Klaus was struggling. Klaus was grinning now though, eyes burning with delight as he watched.

It was the first time Ben thinks he’s ever seen Klaus so excited about anything. It was almost enough to convince Ben to forgive him- forgive all of them for never seeming to care about what happened to Klaus before Vanya blew up the moon.

“Okay so this first game I found is called two truths and a lie,” Luther explained excitedly, “You have to tell us a truth and another truth and a lie and we have to guess what the lie is.”

“We know what the game is,” Diego told him, “and it’s stupid.”

“How would you know if you refuse to give it a shot Diego?” Luther snapped back, fingers crinkling the edges of the paper.

“I’ll go,” Five announced and Luther beamed back at Diego’s scowl. Ben looked at his brother though and realized that whatever was about to come out of Five’s mouth wasn’t going to be anything promising. “I’m having a great time. I don’t want to be here. And this is stupid.”

Luther frowned. Vanya smirked behind her hand but nudged Five’s back in disapproval. Ben cackled, heels soundlessly bumping against the couch.

Klaus clapped, kept his hands in front of him as he leaned on the edge of his seat. His eyes were shining in a way that made Ben nervous. No one else seemed to notice the crazed look in their brother’s eyes though.

“I want to go next,” Klaus announced, “Okay. My eyes are brown. I can see dead people, and I once offered sex to a drug lord to get out of his trunk.”

Luther’s fist balled the paper into a ball as he snapped, “The point- Klaus- is to make the lie hard to guess.”

Allison nudged Luther with her toe as she corrected, “His eyes are green.”

And if Ben hadn’t been there when Klaus had woken up in that drug lord’s trunk, wrists and ankles bound and eyes shot with fear, then he might have been amused. Worst they’d both known that no one was going to come for him so he was either going to die in that trunk or he was going to have to free himself.

Luther blinked, face convulsed like he was in shock. His first instinct, Ben knew, was to accuse Klaus of being a liar but Klaus’s face was that impossible shade of pleased as he waited for the others to join in on the game because he had yet to realize what he’d just revealed.

Vanya had gone pale, eyes bugging from her face as the gravity of what Klaus’s two truths were sank in. Allison’s eyes were dark but they were trained on Luther- probably waiting for him to take charge and protect Klaus. Five shuffled from his spot on the floor, looking excited by this newest development.

Diego, who’s the only living person who seemed to care what Klaus got into in his free time, sat up. He had a knife in either hand, muscle jumping in his throat. His eyes were no longer dark but homicidal and filled with murder and it was the first time Ben thinks he’s ever seen Luther and Diego agree on something.

Ben clapped his hands, “I really like this game.”

Klaus blinked at him, head tilting to the side. The rest of the families’ eyes moved with him, and they seemed to soften at the thought of Ben. Klaus still didn’t seem to realize what he’d just revealed to them.

And, suddenly, Luther erupted.

“You sold your body for sex?” he shouted and Ben forgot how naïve and innocent he could be, “Wait, no. You were in a drug lord’s trunk?!”

Klaus shrugged, as careless as he was about most things. He didn’t even seem bothered, which was bothering the others. Though to be fair Klaus hadn’t really been bothered then either.

“Yeah,” Klaus agreed- just now realizing something was wrong, “What?”

“Does this drug lord have a name Klaus?” Diego asked, all faux calm and it was almost impressive how offhanded the question sounded- almost like he couldn’t have cared whether or not Klaus had one.

Ben saw, and Ben knew though. Someone was going to die- the realization sending a thrill through him as he remembered the way the man had looked at Klaus and Ben supposed it was fortunate Klaus had been attractive because he probably would have been gutted otherwise.

Klaus still didn’t seem to get it- unaccustomed to his siblings caring about anything he did in his free time. Ben was just grateful he hadn’t told them how the drug lord found him.

“I’m sure he does,” Klaus hummed, thrumming his feet against the ground, “I didn’t quite catch it though. You could probably ask the rehab center. I think they keep records of everybody who passes through.”

Ben sighed, dropped his head. Luther sounded like he choked, eyes buggy and pale and maybe they’re now realizing they should have kept a closer eye on Klaus.

It was Five who spoke, voice tinged with anticipation, “You met the drug lord at a rehab center.”

“Yeah. The one Vanya checked me in when I tried crashing at her place for a week,” Klaus explained, eyes narrowed, “I don’t think this is how this game usually goes. This is a lot of details on a single truth.”

“Details are important Klaus,” Diego affirmed as Allison stood to take hold of Luther’s arm.

“The first one to find the drug lord’s name gets first crack at him,” Allison declared because Luther looked moments from fainting and Vanya had lost several colors.

Five was still grinning maniacally- something interesting finally popping into the mundane of his life- before he disappeared. Luther didn’t even bother protesting on the stranger’s behalf because Klaus suddenly looked small and defenseless and Ben supposed now would be the time to tell them Klaus never slept with the dude.

Yet he was grateful Klaus never brought it up.

Not even when Diego cursed Five for being a cheating little brat as he jumped to his feet to find some random dude from some random rehab center Klaus went to forever ago. He grabbed Vanya on his way out, pulling her to her feet and declaring they’d work better together and he didn’t even fight Luther when he tried muscling his way past them.

Klaus blinked at the empty room, head tilted to the side. He still didn’t seem to get it- why everyone was pissed and Ben liked to think that they’d always been like that. They just hadn’t known they were supposed to be.

“I guess this means family game night is canceled huh,” Klaus said, going for carefree and landing closer to pitiful.

“You want to go guess which color car is going to pass by the house next?” Ben asked. Had always been good at distracting Klaus when he wasn’t being a stubborn moron chasing his highs.

Klaus grinned and nodded.

The next day the drug lord was found beaten and unconscious amongst stacks of his drugs, the confused anchorman noting how the only evidence of assault was a banana peel set by his feet. Ben smiled and figured the Umbrella Academy would be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to shout at me in the comments. I'm very shout-friendly.
> 
> (Credit to Schitt's Creek for the reference)


End file.
